Tuesday, May 5, 2009

We have a enemy, his name is Bob

In modern times, the enemy is highly underated. Nobody puts the effort, or the time to really despise of plan against anyone. I blame TV.

We do make the time. The person we despise, shall be called Bob. If we told you his real name, none of the below would be a very good suprise, would it? After much planning, we divulge, revenge plans against Bob:

  • Buy a litter of kittens, 12 should do, and each day, sneek another one into his house while his is unaware. 12 days of cat-mas.
  • Get him a Christmas card - apologise for the lateness.
  • Start putting letters in Bob's mailbox from 'Future Bob' "Bob, Please, you have to be carefull today, Asian's are planning against you Future Bob"
  • Befriend a relative, and then be like "oh, that is a weird coincidence". I find Mums and Grans work best here.
  • Call this guy bob, no matter what his name is. Then if he asks why, just say - no it's a personal joke.
  • At the pub, go into the toilet with Bob, and then come running out, and to your bird, claim that Bob tried to cup your balls.
  • When u meet them next, kiss him on the cheek but make a point to only shake her hand, then a tip of your hat after you shake
  • When you meet him shake hands with your left hand, but only him.
  • Break into Bob's house once a week, and hem is pants up one inch, so he thinks he is turning into a giant
  • Take a shit in bobs schooner, and ask the girl if bob has always drank " pooners "
  • Put a trout in his letterbox, make a statement.
  • Find out what kind of car Bob drives, then next time he is somewhere, his tyres will 'accidentally' go flat.

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