You were far more attractive the first night we met, you were mildly unattractive from some angles. You stole $90 from me.
You seemed lovely for a while. I took you home on the first night. I won a bet, the reward was head. 8 months later, I still never got it.
You, I met at work. We made out in the elevator, I asked you to move into my house. Now you are involved in swingers parties.
You were all something to me once, now you are just another stain on my mattress.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Path to Destruction?
Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel illuminates the journey. I'm walking down a career path, and, if I wanted to, I could write out my job position and a reasonable estimate of my wage for the next 20 years.
I work as a 'professional' in a long established establishment. I, nor you, should be impressed or care. I'm a cog in a bigger machine, staring at other cogs. No-one that is successful at this job is successful otherwise. Unless a fancy car, divorce and seeing your kids every sencond weekend is success.
So, to get to that light at the end, retirement with nice things, you have to some very big hurdles. If I did the same things in the 80's at least I could have wore power suits and have a coke habit. Don't even get that these days.
Lucky for me, I have no plan.
I work as a 'professional' in a long established establishment. I, nor you, should be impressed or care. I'm a cog in a bigger machine, staring at other cogs. No-one that is successful at this job is successful otherwise. Unless a fancy car, divorce and seeing your kids every sencond weekend is success.
So, to get to that light at the end, retirement with nice things, you have to some very big hurdles. If I did the same things in the 80's at least I could have wore power suits and have a coke habit. Don't even get that these days.
Lucky for me, I have no plan.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The Mathematics of it All
For the same reason man wants to climb a mountain, the majority of marriages fail.
Its also related to the reason men accelerate off green lights to win an imaginary race and buy car magazines full of cars we will never have.
That reason is, we want what we have + 1.
For the majority of men, this simple mathematic equation will be the cause of all our successes, and the cause of half our assets being split by court order.
A adult male over 25 will be able to tell you about, at least one, great girlfriend – nice, pretty, fun, a real keeper. You broke up with her, didn't you? you though you could do better, didn't you, you little blighter!
I've got two such girlfriends. For no reason at all you start thinking, 'oh, this is swell, but you know what, I could have the same thing, but with a girl with a firmer bottom, that would be great, then if I had a faster car, it would be grand'. You know, what you have now, plus 1.
There is nothing wrong with that train of thought, it's why we went to the moon, trying to do better every day, but its puts a few dilemmas into your daily life. Biggest being, you continue to try and date women who are clearly out of your league. Its very possible, happens every day, but the thing is, she is thinking everyday, 'wow, I could do better than him'. Then you get divorced.
No real solution, I'm just saying.
Its also related to the reason men accelerate off green lights to win an imaginary race and buy car magazines full of cars we will never have.
That reason is, we want what we have + 1.
For the majority of men, this simple mathematic equation will be the cause of all our successes, and the cause of half our assets being split by court order.
A adult male over 25 will be able to tell you about, at least one, great girlfriend – nice, pretty, fun, a real keeper. You broke up with her, didn't you? you though you could do better, didn't you, you little blighter!
I've got two such girlfriends. For no reason at all you start thinking, 'oh, this is swell, but you know what, I could have the same thing, but with a girl with a firmer bottom, that would be great, then if I had a faster car, it would be grand'. You know, what you have now, plus 1.
There is nothing wrong with that train of thought, it's why we went to the moon, trying to do better every day, but its puts a few dilemmas into your daily life. Biggest being, you continue to try and date women who are clearly out of your league. Its very possible, happens every day, but the thing is, she is thinking everyday, 'wow, I could do better than him'. Then you get divorced.
No real solution, I'm just saying.
A Trip to the Brisbane Mall
Being Mothers day this weekend, I ventured into the city to pack a lovely pack for my lovely mother. A couple of things I generally noticed
Ugly People + ? = Happy. I'm not even trying to be rude, but as I sat at lunch, looking around, there was a lot of very unattractive people. Where the hell do these people end up? Mid 20's to late 30's they are prolific, but I don't really see that many hideous elderly people. Do they just end up lonely, or is there a point where they match up? Its not like a lot of the people are even nice people, I've worked with my share of ugmo's and they are ordinarily very unpleasant.
I just picture the head to the sewers when they are 40, and plan the demise of the pretty people.
People = Jerks x Stupidity. A random man dropped a full coffee on the floor in the food court. Two things happened. Firstly when the cleaner put wet floor signs up, people continued to walk through the coffee and spread it out. Secondly, he (without apologising) gave the cleaner $1, and walked off, like the cleaner should be appreciative. Sometimes, the general public blows my mind.
Me + Aging < Me – 10 years I lust after a surprising amount of women these days, a lot more than I recall. As I sat in my little food court seat, I realised the women I am lusting after, are the women I used to date. Bummer. It seems as I got older, my ability to date a 21 year old has diminished. Funny that.
I know you are hanging out for this, mum got pink slippers, fancy soap and moisturiser.
Ugly People + ? = Happy. I'm not even trying to be rude, but as I sat at lunch, looking around, there was a lot of very unattractive people. Where the hell do these people end up? Mid 20's to late 30's they are prolific, but I don't really see that many hideous elderly people. Do they just end up lonely, or is there a point where they match up? Its not like a lot of the people are even nice people, I've worked with my share of ugmo's and they are ordinarily very unpleasant.
I just picture the head to the sewers when they are 40, and plan the demise of the pretty people.
People = Jerks x Stupidity. A random man dropped a full coffee on the floor in the food court. Two things happened. Firstly when the cleaner put wet floor signs up, people continued to walk through the coffee and spread it out. Secondly, he (without apologising) gave the cleaner $1, and walked off, like the cleaner should be appreciative. Sometimes, the general public blows my mind.
Me + Aging < Me – 10 years I lust after a surprising amount of women these days, a lot more than I recall. As I sat in my little food court seat, I realised the women I am lusting after, are the women I used to date. Bummer. It seems as I got older, my ability to date a 21 year old has diminished. Funny that.
I know you are hanging out for this, mum got pink slippers, fancy soap and moisturiser.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
We have a enemy, his name is Bob
In modern times, the enemy is highly underated. Nobody puts the effort, or the time to really despise of plan against anyone. I blame TV.
We do make the time. The person we despise, shall be called Bob. If we told you his real name, none of the below would be a very good suprise, would it? After much planning, we divulge, revenge plans against Bob:
We do make the time. The person we despise, shall be called Bob. If we told you his real name, none of the below would be a very good suprise, would it? After much planning, we divulge, revenge plans against Bob:
- Buy a litter of kittens, 12 should do, and each day, sneek another one into his house while his is unaware. 12 days of cat-mas.
- Get him a Christmas card - apologise for the lateness.
- Start putting letters in Bob's mailbox from 'Future Bob' "Bob, Please, you have to be carefull today, Asian's are planning against you Future Bob"
- Befriend a relative, and then be like "oh, that is a weird coincidence". I find Mums and Grans work best here.
- Call this guy bob, no matter what his name is. Then if he asks why, just say - no it's a personal joke.
- At the pub, go into the toilet with Bob, and then come running out, and to your bird, claim that Bob tried to cup your balls.
- When u meet them next, kiss him on the cheek but make a point to only shake her hand, then a tip of your hat after you shake
- When you meet him shake hands with your left hand, but only him.
- Break into Bob's house once a week, and hem is pants up one inch, so he thinks he is turning into a giant
- Take a shit in bobs schooner, and ask the girl if bob has always drank " pooners "
- Put a trout in his letterbox, make a statement.
- Find out what kind of car Bob drives, then next time he is somewhere, his tyres will 'accidentally' go flat.
First Blog
Obligatory explanation.
These will vaguely anonymous ramblings, of vaguely interesting people. You may enjoy what you read, or more likely, you will dislike the authors. That’s what the anonymous bit is about.
Many people will post, under the one account of a friend who set this up for us. Being good at life does not mean you have access to blogspot at work.
Oh, Hi.
These will vaguely anonymous ramblings, of vaguely interesting people. You may enjoy what you read, or more likely, you will dislike the authors. That’s what the anonymous bit is about.
Many people will post, under the one account of a friend who set this up for us. Being good at life does not mean you have access to blogspot at work.
Oh, Hi.
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